MARRIAGE ISSUES AND MORE contd

My views on marriage have taking a drastic turn, thank God for divine inspiration by the holy-spirit  I was of the opinion of crying, praying and hoping things change. Or planning an escape route by hoping for financial independence so i can move on with my life.
My new view is to fight for what is mine, my married was before God and the law. So I have both legal and spiritual rights over my husband, now am going to use it as due. M as issues, physical and spiritual the right action isn't for me to run and cry But for me to stand and fight.
Am going to make demands, women just like taking second fiddle most times. but it shouldn't be - I have rights too, since i cook, clean, take care of the children and generally make sure the home front is peaceful i deserve some things too. Really basic things and rather then fold my arms and expect a miracle. Am going to pray and sort out M on the spiritual level and make demands and fight on the physical. rather then wip-up sentiments am going to get angry and ask for what is mine.
 RESPECT: To be treated like an individual with brains, an adult that has thoughts and opinions, a woman with feelings and emotions.
COMPANIONSHIP: I didn't get married to become lonely  i want quality time. i want to be heard and not just shoved aside. i want my husband to be my BFF (best friends forever).
and LOVE.
That is all i want and that is all any woman truly wants and i think we all deserve it.

Marriage, Issues and More

Marriage is not a bed of roses is an over flogged statement and the fact that the grass seems greener on the other side is a catch phrase used by counsellors to calm Married women down and to avoid comparison. My end of the spectrum looks like a desert -no grass- once in a while you hit an oasis.

by general standard I have a perfect life, have been married for a little over two years, two wonderful boys, my hubby like pda (public display of attention) so everyone that sees us outside will be thinking "god she is sooo lucky a to have a very attentive husband" if only they can see they can see the full picture.

am not doing the post to insult my hubby or gather a pity party - no- i just want to freely air my mind and truthful express how i feel, just like you do in a journal.

 It doesn't seem much but this means a lot to me, m is night crawler as in he uses every excuse in the book to hangout. Now this happens at least twice each week sometimes more. This isn't a new issue its been on since before we got married, when you get advised that what you cant endure in marriage don't take it while single, don’t expect a man to change for you when you get married. I am current living that live. M promised me he will change and that he only goes out because his single and home alone so I expected that once we get married it will change since am there for him, for where? Noting changed. Even when I was pregnant with the boys and we had no power and i was too big to bend and put on the generator it was OYO (on your own) for my sorry ass and serious heat till he comes back between 2-5am. Then i told myself that once i give birth he will be rushing back home because he want to see his boys for where? OYO (meaning above) for me. 3 weeks after giving birth he came 5am in the morning -Friday night groove.

I have always wanted to marry an entrepreneur because i felt he will have freedom to pick his time but now I wish my husband has a regular job with fixed hours maybe that will help but I doubt anything will change him except for GOD.

Sometime I wish I was financially independent enough to move out with my boys at least that way I won’t spend 2 night each week waiting and praying he comes back home safe and these thought only flash through my mind on those days he comes back late but they shouldn't be in my mind at all. I just feel frustrated that’s why am writing this.
I pray things improve, please join in praying because outside this issue M is a really wonderful guy and I love him to bits, am sure I always will which is why this hurts so much. Hmm it is well.

HAPPENINGS

ITS REALLY DIFFICULT TO GET A PIX OF MY BOYS TEETH SO THIS WAS AWESOME FOR ME

Daniel is finally cutting his upper teeth when david already has all four on top at different growth stage

In this terrible heat you cant blame me for stripping the boys  when playing(Daniel)

David standing and Daniel sitting close to mama`

whenever there is a struggle between David and Daniel especially as regards toys and stuffs. Daniel always win and sometimes even David cries after him and still doesn't get it back. here is a scene i captured.

I don't know how to settle these quarrels, even when i give each his toy they still go after the one with the other. I want David to man up and fight back but i dint want to encourage violence am praying for direction. it is well.
Here is another picture of Daniel easily taking something from David.

David playing(with what shouldn't be a toy) Daniel swinging with the curtain

Daniel settles on the floor to wrestle 

wrestling has began, seems like a joke to David but Daniel is serious about taking the pole 

 I had to step in before it becomes a crying match by collecting the pole from both of them

Daniel the squirrel #1

Daniel grabbing the walker

David squirrel #2

David peeping when he knew he was caught

I had to pack the walker away i learnt it was slowing them as regards independent walking, they tend to fly about the house when they are the walker but when i put them down they just crawl and considering that they have been standing since 6 months plus. my mum insists that the walker is the reason behind not walking so we packed up these walker and bought a different type.

David standing

weather was too hot i had to strip them

 Our new walker, this type is the best. Help kids to walk faster.

Thats all for now, my love to you all. see ya soon

IMMUNIZATION : 9 MONTHS

dressing up off to be immunized

We went for our 9 months immunization today measles and yellow fever. I was told to expect a lot of tears that both are pretty pain full to deal with, i was even advised to administer paracetamol before the immunization was given.

So David took the injections first, the injections will be taken at their upper arm on both hands. i got him in a happy moods by singing for him, my boys love music and dancing  - that's a post for anther day- so the nurse gave the injections and there was a little cry but i started singing "azonto" to him and he started dancing. the nurses were really impressed then by Daniel's turn i used the same routine by getting him in a good mood through music then i allowed him to continue sucking through the entire process and he didn't cry At all not even once.

Am so happy i have got strong boys because i hear this can be one of those pain full immunization and we scaled it with ease so far. praise God.

AM TIRED

I just survived my worse night as a mother it was horrible. I don't wish it on any woman. D day had been stressful enough, I was the only one at home with the kids and both were in a very clingy mood, they wanted to be carried at the same time and they kept crying if I didn't comply with their demand.
Finally them to bed, when suddenly David woke with a sharp cry and refuse to go back to bed no matter how i tried. so i began rocking him after a while he started dosing off but once I move him to d bed he wakes and start crying. this went on all night till early hours of the morning when I had to leave him on my  chest to let peace reign. at that point my sleep disappeared and i had to keep petting him each time he rolls off. its morning now and it doesn't look like it will be better.
I wonder our mothers used to cope without a maid. cos each day am stressed out. feed them, wash bottles, sterilize bottle, bathe them, play with them wash clothes, cook home-made meals for them. this is a full time job that am not enjoying at the moment. am just plain tired.

SUCKING BOYS

I have been a little shy and embarrsed about it but my boys love sucking and there is really little i can do to stop it now. It didn't start until they were over a month and i let it go because it kept them quite in between feeds but right now i wish i stopped them immediately. Daniel is more addicted than David but they both suck themselves to bed and they wont sleep if i try taking the fingers from their mouth .

Daniel to the left.

 I have now accepted my kids with this habit and i hope they stop sooner than later. i love them no matter what

David sucking off to sleep on his granny's arm

PS: i hope this sucking doesnt permanently damage their dentition .

GENERAL UPDATES

My babies are 9 months today, Yeepee! Where did all that time fly to? i know i said i will post monthly updates but mennnnnn! these boys are a lot of work and i praise bloggers who are mothers and still manage to maintain an active blog my love to http://wifeandnurse.blogspot.com/ , http://beautyandthebeef.blogspot.com/ ,  and more they are doing a fantastic job.
 Boys at 9 months - they repeat after me words like 'Ma ma amaa, Da dadada, thaaaaa, they blow raspberries i guess the rasberries are from teething.

As regards teething i must say  it wasn't as stressful as i expected but Daniel has become awfully clingy i hope he out grows it pretty soon because my arm aches on daily basis now and he cries incesantly if i don't pick him up.
 I have tried letting him cry it out - they say if you keep picking him up he will get used to being carried but i just can't help it once he starts crying i can't stand it, so i go and pick him and the  circle starts again.

David already has 3 teeth showing and cutting 2 more at the same time, while Daniel has only 2 showing and 1 cutting on the upper gum.

STOOLING; The boys spent christmas with my parent and we all spent new year with my hubby's brother and family. i guess the rapid change of environment caused a little distress on their tiny stomach that resulted in frequent stool, i had to introduce flagyl as recommend by my Doctor to stop the flow. So just as that was about stopping, running nose (catarrh) becomes the latest and i was told it was due the weather (harmattan - dry dust).

Daniel and i

David chilling

Its been a roller coaster ride but i will always thank God for my boys they are the answers to my fervent prayers.

David and Daniel on our way to church on the 31st